Reviews: Da da da da!

This week's review is for Indiana Jones: Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. For those who haven't seen it yet, be warned that this will contain spoilers. I'll leave you some space before I start the spoiler.














There we go. Okay. So, arguably the biggest movie of the summer (or at least the biggest one not involving a flying rodent) is out now! Responses have been met with nervous expectations. On one hand, it's Indiana Jones! On the other hand, Lucas was involved, and his sequels done decades past the original movies have been...not so great. On the third hand, Harrison Ford and Steven Spielberg liked it enough to be involved. On the fourth mutant hand of this horrible theoretical mutant, aliens are involved. So it could have been a wonder return of one of the biggest series of cinema history, or it could be Attack of the Clones plus a whip.

Well, the good news is that, at the very least, it was entertaining. I was relieved. I'll start with the parts that bothered me, though. I can some up my least favorite element in two words: Shia Lebouf. I do not like Shia Lebouf. He could be worse, I admit, and I don't dislike him either per sec. As an up and coming Hollywood actor, he could be reasonably expected to be a complete loony, but so far he minimized the amount of career killing hedonism he could partake in. And I haven't seen him in what were theoretically his best works. What I have seen him in, however, is Transformers. To say he played an unlikable dork in that movie is an understatement. He embodied unlikable dork; it oozed out of him, or perhaps radiated out of him like a divine aura. And that essence has clung to him, like a moray eel. He can't not be it. Notably, in Indiana Jones, he played what was supposed to be a tough 50's greaser type. He looked, however, like a stiff breeze could take him. I was unsurprised but disappointed when I learned (I warned you about the spoilers,) that he was Indy's son. When he was about to put on Indy's hat on the end, suggesting that he had become Indy to carry on his father's legacy, I briefly buried my face in my hands. It didn't come to pass, thank goodness, but Lucas' dire predictions of sequels with him as the lead did not help.

Other problems include a general lack of seriousness, mostly due to the incredibly goofy stuff Indiana survived. Okay, the commie mooks couldn't hit a moving target at point-blank range with hundreds of bullets, fine. That's expected. But surviving being at ground zero of a nuclear blast because you where hiding in a lead-lined fridge? That really works? Wow, I bet everyone was pissed that they built fallout shelters in the fifties; they wasted a fortune! There was also the big where Mutt (Shia's inventively named character,) started brachiating like freaking Tarzan and led an inexplicably generated army of monkeys to attack Soviet soldiers. It felt like some of the mid-range Bond movies, like the early ones with Roger Moore, where Bond performed stunts accompanied by wacky sound effects, Beach Boy songs, and "hilarious" redneck sheriffs for comic relief.

The basic premise of the movie, the crystal alien skull, wasn't too ridiculous. Yes, aliens don't fit in with the normal Indy theme, but enough Tomb Raider games made me comfortable with kitchen sink mythologies. What did bother my was the lack of explanation on how the whole thing worked. The skull itself functioned like a skeleton (heh,) key; solving any predicament the heroes encountered. That led to an ambiguous ending where it's entire plausible that the villains didn't even die, and at any rate the history and intentions of the aliens were never really clarified.

Okay, now moving on to the good stuff! Outside of the occasional ridiculous bit, like the vine swinging/monkey army thing, the action sequences remained exciting. The best one, in my opinion, was the jeep and truck sequence in the jungle, where five protagonists, multiple antagonists, several vehicles, and the titular McGuffin complicated things beautifully. The early motorcycle chase through Indy's university, and the Area 51 sequence at the start of the movie, were also enjoyable if occasionally breaking the suspension of disbelief. The final climax, which was limited in both traps and conflict, was less impressive, especially given that lack of narrative payoff with the aliens.

The characters and acting were still brilliant, however. Many said that Ford seemed tired in his role, and that's possible, but he's not only extremely old but playing a character both cynical and getting on in years himself. However miscast Shia was, his interplays with both Indy and his mother Marion, the same love interest as the first movie, were frequently hilarious. The balance of character and story was well-done, though I was disappointed that early story arcs (like Indy's distrust of the modern FBI,) were abandoned in the movie's second half.

In summary, I recommend the movie and give it a B- or so. It wasn't as good as the original trilogy, including Temple of Doom, but it fulfilled both the mindless action film and the general comedy requirements. I laughed, I got excited, I cheered the heroes on. Given that Indy was always intended to be an homage to the pulp action movies of yesteryear, what more could you want?