My Life: Actually Not My Life #2

So we come to round 2 of the alternate life concepts. This one is going to be slightly different from the first (which, if you forgot, as I did, was how I saw myself in 10 years when I was 18.) I imagine myself as I do now, but with one notable exception; if I could relive my life knowing what I know now. In other words, this is the cheating edition.

Now, I'm going to avoid cheating too much; there are all kinds of ways one can if one knows he's living a quarter-life long personal Groundhog Day and has an overactive imagination like mine. So let's set some ground rules. First, I can't use any of the time I already had to prepare, nor use other hypothetical time between now and when the "jump" happens back into my own childhood. The second rule, which is also a direct corollary to the last, is absolutely no time travel money frauds, and believe I've considered a lot of them. No memorizing lottery numbers before the jump, no conveniently figuring out stock tips, no gambling on sports. Let's face it, I couldn't do number 3 anyway without the prep time. I'd make a fortune guessing who shot Mr. Burns on the Simpsons, though.

Rule number 3 says I don't use my knowledge to alter history. No altering who wins elections, who saving celebrities or family members who died before their times, no preventing 9/11 or other disaster. Don't get me wrong, I totally would do this in a "real life" version of this situation, but this hypothetical is about a new me, not a Temporal Superhero version of me. Similarly, according to Rule 4, this hypothetical assumes only general knowledge of what I know. I can't do calculus, quickly relearn Japanese, or demonstrate capable C programming skills at the age of 7 and live my life as a celebrated prodigy. I'm only as smart as I was at any given age; I just might be a bit wiser.

With the rules over, we can start with the actual plans. We'll start with the easy things. First of all, extracurricular activities will change. Intramural soccer and baseball are gone right away. I hated them the first time around. Also gone is elementary school chorus. Really, the only reason I tried it was because it was easier than band and there were almost no non-athletic activities in grade school. In high school, I'd also remove most but not all of my journalism classes. They were fun and a decent way to bond, but that doesn't mean I had to be an editor in both newspaper and yearbook at the same time. I used to stay at school as late as nine. It certainly wasn't worth that.

Instead, in grade school, I actually will try for band. I do have a natural talent for keyboard skills, after all. I could be a pianist or drummer. Or just play guitar. That last skill in particular has other benefits. As for high school, I would focus on doing some art or drama related in addition to a little journalism. Writing is fine; five hours altering page layouts is less so. Athletically, I could focus on things I know I have skill and interest in, like track, or things I would have prefer trying, like formal martial arts training.

A tougher change to make is altering my personality and, in short, quit being such a prude. I mentioned before that my religious beliefs changed over my life. Had I gotten over these things earlier, they would have changed my life rather thoroughly, ending with the college I chose. But it also would have led to my next change, which is to simply be less shy. Having less insular social groups is a good start, but it also means just being open. I shouldn't be worried about the class jerks, but there were plenty of nice people of both genders I could see being friends if I made some effort outside of school work, which is another thing to worry about less. On that note, and the hardest thing I have to do, is deal with those jerks. I can't just ignore them; that failed the first time. But actual fights would be even worse. The only choices are to be in a position where I won't be an easy target for the taunting jerks, or to actually respond. It can't be angry or aggressive, but assertive and questioning. Make them the focus of come discomfort and embarrassment, and they'll either move on or actually improve themselves.

The end result has 28 year old me again. Here, I have friends from other times, at least beyond the mere couple I have now. I could even have dated one or more of them, or even end up married to one. I also would have accomplished artistic things from even early times. I'd have writings, paintings, even musical performances from when I was a child. It beats trying to stay awake during songs I can't sing. Admittedly, I still have some old newspapers and the yearbooks from high school, but that's still not as variety, and certainly not as personal, as the work I could have done. Besides, I still would have had written stories from them in this version.

That's me, knowing what I know now, if I could redo my childhood, especially everything after the family moved when I was 7. That was sort of the sticking point for much of my life. Now, may I ask, what would you change, hypothetical readers? Assuming I have any? As for me, I'll be writing another of these posts in the next few of this topic. But this time, more boobs will be involved! At a personal level! So it could get weird.